Where do I start with this?? I am writing about this because it really pisses me off, and it’s something that has irritated me for a while. How it all started, well you see a year ago I read an article (I wish I didn’t) which stated that a study was conducted by the Harvard Business school, which found, “According to a working paper (pdf) published June 19 by the Harvard Business School, daughters of working mothers are more likely to be employed, hold supervisory positions, and earn more money than the daughters of women who don’t work outside the home. The researchers also found a statistically significant effect on the sons of working women, who are likely to spend more time caring for family members and doing household chores than are the sons of stay-at-home mothers.” quote as per the article. Well I’m calling it BULLSHIT!!!!
I read the article (which you can find here), and at the time of reading it I swore a lot. After a week or two I forgot about it, but what I have found over this past year is that whatever crap that I read in that article must have gotten ingrained in my brain because every now and again, it rears its ugly head just out of the blue and can be triggered by anything, whether, it’s about school stuff, or career and work stuff that I hear about on the news, this article pops up in my head. I then have about 5 seconds where I feel guilty about being a stay at home mum and then I snap out of it and give the thought the big F you!
I had a successful career and loved working, I even studied whilst pregnant with both girls, but I chose to be a stay at home mum whilst my girls are still young so I can be around for them, and I will return to the working world one day. I don’t sit on my arse and do nothing all day, being at stay at home mum is a full-time job! Between, making sure the house is cleaned, everyone has clean clothes to wear, there is a cooked meal for everyone, bills are paid, after school activities are scheduled in, parent help at school is done, and the list goes on. We all read the articles, seen stuff on social media. But whether you are a working mum, stay at home mum, single mum, or whatever mum, does it really influence how successful our children will be? We all want the same thing for our children to be happy and follow a path in life that they get the most joy out of.
How do you measure successful? Is it still like the old days where you are judged by how many letters you have after your name? Or how much money you have in your bank account? I grew up with my mum being a stay at home mum and when we started high school, she started work and now living in New Zealand she has a very successful job. My mum has taught us what hard work is, how to be smart with money and budget and being able to run a whole house, how to look at bills and work out what’s going on and the hidden costs of things. She has taught us how to make the best lemonade when life threw us lemons! It’s the same things I teach my girls now. I also make a note to let my girls know that, no mummy does not sit at home and watch TV all day I’m working too.
The freaking pressure from society these days is just ridiculous, there is guilt if you are a mum that works full-time (I salute you), there is guilt if you a mum that decides to stay at home, there are stay at home dad’s too (high-five dad’s), there is probably guilt around that too! But it is choices we all make and it’s the best for our families, and how successful our children are does not have anything to do whether we leave the house to go to work! It’s what we teach them and the values that they are brought up with.
So if anyone thinks that stay at home mum’s don’t raise successful children, then you are just plain stupid, and unfortunately, you can’t fix stupid!