Stop Body Shaming!


Body Image edit

We all know this topic all too well.  The reason why I am writing about this is because a couple of things have happened or caught my attention lately, that really pissed me off, and got me thinking.

First up, whilst watching the 3rd episode of Real Housewives of Auckland, there was a part of the show where all the ladies where at a party, and out of the blue one of the ladies said to the other, “Pull your tummy in, Sweetie!”, then she goes on to say, “You’re not a size 10. You’re more like a size 12. I’m not saying you’re fat, nothing wrong with being plus-sized, nothing wrong with it whatsoever. You shouldn’t be ashamed of it.” Really???

I was sitting there shocked, yes you may not like the person,  but who the hell gives you the right to judge someone else on how they look. That’s just plain mean.  As for all this labelling of plus size clothes, plus size models, why does there even have to be a label for this, why can’t you just be called a model or you’re a size 12 or 14 without being called Plus Size.  No wonder women feel the way they do because they are all compartmentalized with labels.

I read a quote that said, “If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business.”  Dr Gail.  Women should empower each other and pick each other up, rather than tear them down.

The second thing that got me really upset and angry is a bit more personal.  For the past couple of weeks, my 10 year old daughter gets told at school by boys, “Your mum is so fat,”  “Your mum is short and ugly”.  This broke her heart and upset her so much.  I’m not gonna lie it upset me too, and I find myself sucking in my tummy when I walk past her class!  I let it slide and hoped it wont happen again but it did go on.  Luckily the school acted pretty quickly and shut down this behaviour, these boys now know, Big Brother is watching!!! People can think what they want about me, but I know who I am, and I have to be strong and show my girls, that people in life will call you all sorts of things, but if you truly know who you are and love yourself, those words wont matter. Not only does my daughter have to deal with being called “ugly” and “repulsive” by girls in her school, she now has to deal with boys picking on her mum!  That’s a lot for a person who is still so young to go through.

But I wonder, where does this thinking and behaviour start from?  Do these kids not have enough respect for their own mothers that they feel it’s okay to pick on someone else’s and when did being mean, become cool?

I have curves but does that make me fat or ugly? For me, being healthy is not a size it’s a lifestyle, I may not be the skinniest person around, but I am fit and exercise regularly, I eat well most of the time, but you know what if I want to eat a piece of chocolate I will.  I’m not going to have a chocolate bar every night. It’s all about moderation and balance. There is just constant pressure now days thanks to society on women to be a certain size and look a certain way.  It’s hard enough raising daughters but to teach them and protect them from all this bullshit is another thing.  I always teach my girls to eat well, and exercise, not to be skinny but to be healthy and to nourish their body and live longer, that’s all we can do. I’m not gonna deny them having an ice cream or cake either now and again, educating them is the key.

We are a society, where we are becoming obsessed and consumed with weight and what’s acceptable and not.  Thanks to one of the photography tools, Photoshop and how it’s been abused by some advertising companies, well that’s just turned the whole thing on its head, having the perfect shape, flawless skin, luscious hair.  Well you know what, that shit is not real!  I have the worst stretch marks on my belly after having both my girls, they are not your normal ones,  I can never have my tummy exposed now, but guess what,  I wont change a thing because those marks are the stories of both my girls before they were born. Every scar on my body means something, from falling of a tree when I was younger, or burning my foot whilst camping.

The thing is if we can’t love ourselves enough when we are at our worst, we will never be able to love ourself when we are at our best.  We will always be searching for that body image happiness. I am so lucky that I have a husband that loves me with all my imperfections , bumps, marks, curves and all!

So it’s time that women of all shapes and sizes, know that you are enough and beautiful, appreciate and love your bodies.









22 thoughts on “Stop Body Shaming!

  1. As parents, we can only teach our children to treat everyone with kindness and hope that this will make the world a kinder and gentler place. Tomorrow, mine start school and I’ve already told them (as I do every year) to seek out the new kids and become friends with them. Hang in there!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. That’s very scarey isn’t it that it starts at such a young age , I do worry what Grace is going to go through.Your words are so inspiring , and it’s wonderful Mums like you that teach their daughters not to tolerate..I love that . And yes a big ups to our husbands that love us just the way we are. On personal note you are beautiful inside and out and your daughter’s have a true role model xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sweetheart, I’ve just read your blog. I’m wiping the tears from my face and I can feel how much those comments have hurt you. It’s all a test honey. When you look in the mirror look into your soul and love yourself more than anyone will ever love you. Please know I’m sending the Angels in to give you a big big hug. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.
    Angela Stone
    Of the Real House Wives of Auckland

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My no1 came home last year and told me the same thing that some boys had said your mum is fat etc. she defended me, but what is this world coming to that your children have to defend they way you look to other kids!!! We as adults have our own body image struggles but our kids shouldn’t have to worry about it also. Glad you wrote about this as it was very close to home. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh gosh must be so hard for them to deal with it all and they are so little themselves. How is it that kids so young even think about commenting on an adults body just baffles me! I’m scared of the society that our kids are growing into. I think you are beautiful 😘


      1. It’s crazy that they have the audacity to comment on adults appearance like its nothing. Shame on those boys and I’m glad it was stamped out quickly!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I just said to a friend, when we were younger even the boys, would never ever be so disrespectful to adults. I was pretty impressed at how quick the school handled it and hopefully they have learned a lesson!


  5. Oh ronell, I’m so sorry you and kiara had to go through that. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I hope if I experience anything like this I can handle it with the strength and dignity you have.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. awesome write up, this is such a problem everywhere, we just have to make sure we remain strong and educate our kids on having a healthy life style and making the correct choices, society as a whole need to remember only god can judge us.
    Tell your missy to remain strong and tell those bullies that she has an awesome and gorgeous mum whom we all love to the moon and back !



  7. I think body shaming is just a norm now. Look at Donald Trump. He is a pig to women and people still support him. I’ve been berated, mocked, humiliated and so for being fat. I’ve had people stop their car just to hurl abuse at me. People can be so horrible.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. To be honest, I kind of come to expect it. I don’t feel like I’m going to find love or happiness because people look down their noses so much on people who are thought of as fat. Well, unless they are billionaires. Then you can marry a gold digger ha ha.

        Liked by 1 person

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