Stay at Home Mum’s apparently don’t raise successful children!

stay-at-home-mom-ecard

Where do I start with this??  I am writing about this because it really pisses me off, and it’s something that has irritated me for a while. How it all started, well you see a year ago I read an article (I wish I didn’t) which stated that a study was conducted by the Harvard Business school, which found, “According to a working paper (pdf) published June 19 by the Harvard Business School, daughters of working mothers are more likely to be employed, hold supervisory positions, and earn more money than the daughters of women who don’t work outside the home. The researchers also found a statistically significant effect on the sons of working women, who are likely to spend more time caring for family members and doing household chores than are the sons of stay-at-home mothers.” quote as per the article.  Well I’m calling it BULLSHIT!!!!

I read the article (which you can find here), and at the time of reading it I swore a lot.  After a week or two I forgot about it, but what I have found over this past year is that whatever crap that I read in that article must have gotten ingrained in my brain because every now and again, it rears its ugly head just out of the blue and can be triggered by anything, whether, it’s about school stuff, or career and work stuff that I hear about on the news, this article pops up in my head.  I then have about 5 seconds where I feel guilty about being a stay at home mum and then I snap out of it and give the thought the big F you!

I had a successful career and loved working, I even studied whilst pregnant with both girls, but I chose to be a stay at home mum whilst my girls are still young so I can be around for them, and I will return to the working world one day.  I don’t sit on my arse and do nothing all day, being at stay at home mum is a full-time job! Between, making sure the house is cleaned, everyone has clean clothes to wear, there is a cooked meal for everyone, bills are paid, after school activities are scheduled in, parent help at school is done, and the list goes on.  We all read the articles, seen stuff on social media.  But whether you are a working mum, stay at home mum, single mum, or whatever mum, does it really influence how successful our children will be?  We all want the same thing for our children to be happy and follow a path in life that they get the most joy out of.

How do you measure successful?  Is it still like the old days where you are judged by how many letters you have after your name?  Or how much money you have in  your bank account?  I grew up with my mum being a stay at home mum and when we started high school, she started work and now living in New Zealand she has a very successful job.  My mum has taught us what hard work is, how to be smart with money and budget and being able to run a whole house, how to look at bills and work out what’s going on and the hidden costs of things. She has taught us how to make the best lemonade when life threw us lemons! It’s the same things I teach my girls now. I also make a note to let my girls know that, no mummy does not sit at home and watch TV all day I’m working too.

The freaking pressure from society these days is just ridiculous, there is guilt if you are a mum that works full-time (I salute you), there is guilt if you a mum that decides to stay at home, there are stay at home dad’s too (high-five dad’s),  there is probably guilt around that too!  But it is choices we all make and it’s the best for our families, and how successful our children are does not have anything to do whether we leave the house to go to work! It’s what we teach them and the values that they are brought up with.

So if anyone thinks that stay at home mum’s don’t raise successful children, then you are just plain stupid, and unfortunately,  you can’t fix stupid!

Peace out!

Ronell x

 

 

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14 thoughts on “Stay at Home Mum’s apparently don’t raise successful children!”

  1. The Frozen song comes to mind. “Let it Go!” Don’t put so much of your energy into this article! I love your statement, “We all want the same thing for our children to be happy and follow a path in life that they get the most joy out of.” I work full-time and my husband is a stay-at-home Dad because he is on disability. I’m right there with you – people comment to me that he should get a job. Why is that their business? Some things about it work well for us, and some things about the role reversal are frustrating. I don’t judge anyone’s choices (and I truly appreciate your comments that you don’t either). Sometimes our circumstances dictate our situation, sometimes it’s our choices – either way, we are all doing what works best for our families. I know staying at home is very hard work. My boss and I (a man, who also has small kids) often joke that we come to work for a break! My days off with my kids are often more exhausting than going to my “paid job”.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes – it works that way sometimes. We have to vent to “let it go”. I hate that people put this competitive thing out there between Moms who stay at home, and those who work. As long as the kids are the priority, that’s the important thing.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t feel guilty about being a stay-at-home mum! Treasure it! Women who work full-time are just jealous. I definitely miss it. I used to be able to cook and bake all the time and make crochet clothes for the kids and all things I thoroughly enjoyed. Now I don’t have time and that’s sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I work from home as a teacher, so I have those responsibilities plus the toddler mama household duties and even though I am doing so much, sometimes I feel like “Am I doing enough?” I think that it what you were eluding to when you say that sometimes you feel guilty, like are you setting your kids up for success. You definitely are! But I totally get what you are saying. Sometimes you just want to tell these people who write this to spend a day I our shoes!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ugh, I’ve been getting that a lot lately from young childless friends who look at my lifestyle as if it’s so easy. All I can do is pray that they have really shit kids in the future, lol! I’ve started filling out legal forms that ask my occupation as “full-time mom” recently instead of the horrible “stay at home mom”. I don’t mean it as a dig at working moms (they’re on mom duty the moment they come home), but someone else is taking care of their kids when they are working whereas I’m on kid duty non-stop! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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