The Slow Dance of Marriage

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Today is our 14 year wedding anniversary.  14 years!!!!  I sometimes sit and think wow I can’t believe that we made it so far!  When we got married back in 2003 we were still really young, I was 21 and Adam was 23, we dated for almost 2 years before we were married. Prior to being married we didn’t live together, we were both still living at home.  So we knew being married was going to be a huge learning curve, especially sharing the same space!  Luckily for me, he is a bit of a neat freak too, thank goodness for that! Also we were blending two very different cultures so there was a lot of give and take that had to happen.

In the beginning we stepped on each others toes a lot, as you do, and it took us a few years to actually find our rhythm, but even now we stumble a few times.  Three years after being married we had our first child, and having children well that’s when the strength of a marriage is really put to its test. It definitely wasn’t smooth sailing, there were times when I wanted to just leave and even though Adam won’t admit it, I’m sure he too felt like that at times, but somehow we managed to dig deep and get through all the hard times, and we all know those hard times come and go as we go through the different phases of our lives.  We both have amazing role models in our parents who have being married for over 30 years respectively, and who are always there to help us whenever we need advice to this day.

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It’s now that I realise marriage is not the tango or the tempo, to last the distance it has to be a slow dance. I am the hot-headed one in our relationship (my family are probably reading this and nodding!) and Adam is the calm and cool one, which is great because we balance each other out, god help us if we were both hot headed, I probably wouldn’t be writing this.  I may have thrown and orange or two over the past 14 years! However, we have taught each other so many things over the years, and when I look back we have achieved so much together in such a short amount of time, and I am super proud of us both.

It’s important for us to celebrate each other as with life and parenthood we usually forget and everything else takes priority.  So to my dear husband there are a few things I would like to thank you for (it might be a bit cheesy but I don’t care).

Thank you for being my rock and safe haven.  No matter how hard life got at times you were there to lift me up.

Thank you for running to the supermarket and buying me tampons/pads when I run out (just to clarify this doesn’t happen often).

Thank you for always giving me your last cheese and cracker on your plate even though I know you probably don’t want to.

Thank you for fulfilling my crazy need of adventure and driving to all sorts of places (which I know you secretly love to).

Thank you for always making me a cup of tea at the end of the day when the kids are gone to bed, I don’t even have to ask and it’s there waiting.

Thank you for working so hard and achieving so much in your career, enabling me to stay at home and raise our two girls.  We are very proud of you.

Thank you for recognising when I need time out for myself and making it happen.

Thank you for being the best dad our girls can ever have.

The list can truly go on and on, so I wont bore you.  We don’t have the perfect marriage, and I don’t know if there ever is such a thing, but we definitely work hard on our marriage and relationship and it’s what got us here so far. We both respect each other tremendously and know that each of us have opinions and views on all sorts of topics be it, news, family, friends or life in general, so it’s important to listen and communicate, and it’s something we have worked on from the start.

I am so blessed to have an amazing relationship with my husband, and I look forward to seeing where the years ahead take us.

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Ronell x

 

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