Just Be you

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How do we teach our young kid’s, especially girls that you don’t have to be like everyone else? Be confident in your own skin, just be you!  Everyone is different and that’s okay, no two people are alike because that would be totally boring!

I’m sure even as adults we are still dealing with some demons of always comparing ourself to someone else, or comparing our lives to someone else’s.  Do children learn this from us or is it just a normal human thing that we do and have to get ourselves out of.  This thinking all started due to Pink Shirt day at school today.  I went to Savemart a couple of weeks ago to find some pink t-shirts for the girls.  I chose one for my oldest who was fine with it and stuff then this morning she decided to change her mind (as they do) and wear something else.  She chose a very light soft pink top with jeans, it’s still pink but not in your face pink.  She has accessorised with pink earrings and sunglasses, she even chose fluro pink bands for her braces!  So all cool no dramas.

Then she see’s photos of other kids dressed up in bright pink clothes and fully decked out, pants, tops, hair everything which was so cool.  But instead of looking at it like, “wow they look awesome”, it was more like, ” I am not walking to school, I look horrible, my top is not even bright enough”  You get the picture!  I reminded her that you do have the top that I bought, which you can still wear.  NO!!!  It’s not pink apparently and more purply pink.  I said to her there are lots of shades of pink not just one type.  Anyway she ended up walking to school crying because she didn’t like how she was dressed and how she looked.

All morning I felt like a terrible mother for not being able to choose the right shade of pink or getting lots of pink stuff for her to wear and that she walked to school crying.  When I have gone over the top in the past she didn’t like it so I kept it simple this year, well I was wrong!  How do you win? Can you actually ever win with kids? The lesson here is next time take them shopping and let them choose!

Kid’s seem to ignore all the wonderful attributes that they have all because they want to be like the next person, instead of just rocking who they are.  Right about now I wish I had a Phd in knowing how kids minds work or something.  I’m always conscious of how I speak and alway’s make sure I never compare myself to other people in front of the girls.  I mean let’s be honest every now and again, I do compare myself to someone else in my head off course but not like I want to look like that person or anything, more like if someone is going on holiday, I would think to myself, “Oh how I would love to be on holiday now too” that sort of thing.

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When we start comparing ourselves to others we start to loose our own confidence in ourselves!  The thing is though,  it’s happening with kids from such a young age, how do we fix this?  Imagine how freeing it must feel to just be you, and not give a flying f*ck about anyone or anything else.  Just live and soak up everyday!  Maybe I should print out every type of quote that I can find on the web and wallpaper their walls with them all!  Like I am at a loss because I can tell my girls all the right things and read all the wonderful things there is out there about being yourself but until they start believing it themselves, am I wasting my time?  Am I a nagging mum?

If you have any tips or advice or anything…..throw them my way!

Ronell x

 

 

 

 

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Getting Ready for Puberty & The Essential Girls Kit

This blog post is definitely not one for the guys, so look away!  A couple of girlfriends and I were talking today about puberty so that prompted me to share this post with you and what I have done for my daughter.

We all know that the time is coming when puberty graces us with it’s presence, for many this is confronting and for others not so much.  But whether we like it or not, it’s happening, so there is no point hiding from it, the best form of action is being prepared.  I bought a book for Miss 11 last year by Kaz Cooke called Girls Stuff from 8-10 years old.  We went through the book together and it was pretty funny and light-hearted so it took away the awkwardness about it all.  She did say, “mum it’s so gross!”, so I said to her that yes it may be gross and it may be annoying and stuff but it’s part of life, this is how a women’s body work’s and we can’t change it (until you hit menopause).  After this, she just accepted it all and is okay about it.

I figure the more open we are about it and the more comfortable I am talking about it, this in turn has made her more comfortable.

Right, first things first, I wanted to start her on a good skin care routine.  The skin takes such a hammering during puberty, I had awful acne throughout high school and after, it was just horrible! Both my girls from the time they were born, I have always used moisturiser on their skin morning and night, so it’s something that is second nature for them now.  I researched a bit about skincare products that are suitable for young skin and I wanted natural products.  I finally decided on Oxygen Skincare.  Their skin care is 100% natural, made right here in New Zealand and certified organic and not tested on animals.  Check out their website for more details.

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Next thing is liners for their underwear.  It’s a good way for them to get familiar with knowing how to put it on and take it off, and also when the day arrives and they get their period, knowing that the liner is there initially will probably stop them from freaking out.  I personally think it’s a good idea to always wear a liner everyday.

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The next step is putting together a little kit that they can keep with them at school, either in their bags or if they have lockers at school they can keep this in there.

 

To put together the kit we both went to the supermarket and were looking at all the products and working everything out.  Involving your child in this process I think is a good idea.  This is the kit that we put together.

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I bought the pencil-case from Kmart.  I think it was around $8-$12, and it has two zippers.  Inside the bag are two spare pairs of underwear.  We also have scented sanitary disposal bags, they come in a box and inside the box is two packs (the black pack with paisley’s) so we just have one lot in the case.  We also put in special wet wipes that are for the (oh god how do I say it) your private parts or as the pack says “intimate wipes” (everyone has all sort’s of names for it), a small bottle of hand sanitiser and 4 pads the brand she chose was U by Kotex.  I didn’t add in any paracetamol tablets because well she doesn’t really know how to take tablets and I know she school will have some form of pain relief if she absolutely needs it (I’m hoping she will be fine).

I hope that by doing all of this we are ready for when it happens and I know that if she is at school, she will be okay and know exactly what to do.  Information and preparation is key in avoiding total tween or teen meltdown!!!

If you have any other tips or things that you do or have done, I would love to hear it.

Ronell x