How do we teach our young kid’s, especially girls that you don’t have to be like everyone else? Be confident in your own skin, just be you! Everyone is different and that’s okay, no two people are alike because that would be totally boring!
I’m sure even as adults we are still dealing with some demons of always comparing ourself to someone else, or comparing our lives to someone else’s. Do children learn this from us or is it just a normal human thing that we do and have to get ourselves out of. This thinking all started due to Pink Shirt day at school today. I went to Savemart a couple of weeks ago to find some pink t-shirts for the girls. I chose one for my oldest who was fine with it and stuff then this morning she decided to change her mind (as they do) and wear something else. She chose a very light soft pink top with jeans, it’s still pink but not in your face pink. She has accessorised with pink earrings and sunglasses, she even chose fluro pink bands for her braces! So all cool no dramas.
Then she see’s photos of other kids dressed up in bright pink clothes and fully decked out, pants, tops, hair everything which was so cool. But instead of looking at it like, “wow they look awesome”, it was more like, ” I am not walking to school, I look horrible, my top is not even bright enough” You get the picture! I reminded her that you do have the top that I bought, which you can still wear. NO!!! It’s not pink apparently and more purply pink. I said to her there are lots of shades of pink not just one type. Anyway she ended up walking to school crying because she didn’t like how she was dressed and how she looked.
All morning I felt like a terrible mother for not being able to choose the right shade of pink or getting lots of pink stuff for her to wear and that she walked to school crying. When I have gone over the top in the past she didn’t like it so I kept it simple this year, well I was wrong! How do you win? Can you actually ever win with kids? The lesson here is next time take them shopping and let them choose!
Kid’s seem to ignore all the wonderful attributes that they have all because they want to be like the next person, instead of just rocking who they are. Right about now I wish I had a Phd in knowing how kids minds work or something. I’m always conscious of how I speak and alway’s make sure I never compare myself to other people in front of the girls. I mean let’s be honest every now and again, I do compare myself to someone else in my head off course but not like I want to look like that person or anything, more like if someone is going on holiday, I would think to myself, “Oh how I would love to be on holiday now too” that sort of thing.
When we start comparing ourselves to others we start to loose our own confidence in ourselves! The thing is though, it’s happening with kids from such a young age, how do we fix this? Imagine how freeing it must feel to just be you, and not give a flying f*ck about anyone or anything else. Just live and soak up everyday! Maybe I should print out every type of quote that I can find on the web and wallpaper their walls with them all! Like I am at a loss because I can tell my girls all the right things and read all the wonderful things there is out there about being yourself but until they start believing it themselves, am I wasting my time? Am I a nagging mum?
If you have any tips or advice or anything…..throw them my way!