Crossing the Line

To say it has been a tough week is an understatement.  This week absolutely broke me, to the point where you feel you have no fight left, and you have nothing to give!  My kids broke me –  how is it that kid’s these day’s who are so privileged, compared to when I was growing up, still don’t appreciate everything that we as parents do for them?

What brought me to this place?  Well my youngest has been playing up at school on more than one occasion with her group of friends.  First it was pinching blu tac from teachers classrooms, not just one teacher but five.  Which means I got a call from the deputy principle.  I could have died, who is this child????  Why is she doing this???  She and her friends had to write letters apologising for what they did.  I took out money from her jar which she was saving for our holiday and went straight to the supermarket and bought 5 packs of blu tac costing $20.  The next morning we went to each teacher and she had to replace it.

This week I got an email to say that the same group of girls damaged another child’s squishy toy (never want to f*cking see another squishy) deliberately.  We just went through the whole blu tac thing and now this!!!!!  It was the straw that broke the camels back!!!

I get the whole thing about kid’s wanting to push the boundaries and testing the limits but there is a point when enough is enough!  I don’t think any of these kids are silly, they know that what they are doing is wrong, right???  Surely they must know it’s not good??  But how do we teach kids remorse?  Because it seems as if they just have no clue!  I know my youngest is easily influenced by others, don’t get me wrong she is no angel but I know that this behaviour is way left field even for her.

No child is perfect and I am not asking them to be, but seriously, I just want to scream WHY??????  Actually I think I did do that when I lost it!  The thing is I know I am not the only parent going through this, why doesn’t anyone talk about it, we are all in the same boat, we might as well go down together, or stand up tall together.

Are parent’s embarrassed to talk about what their kids are getting up to? Especially amongst friends, you never know someone might have a brilliant idea on how to help.  Is this second child syndrome?  I keep ticking of things in my head like are there secret messages in her behaviour, is she crying out for help? – no, okay then is she being a total pain in the butt for no reason? – possibly, does she just want to fit in with her friends? – could be, is there a leader in this group? – there is always one that is.

My oldest she has her moment’s too, with her now in Intermediate all I hear, is “so and so’s parent’s let them do this, why can’t I?”.  “You alway’s so no for everything” I was like really???  I say no, how about all the things I say yes to!  But oh no kids love focusing on the no but never the thing’s we say yes to.

Well I hope there is light at the end of this tunnel, and please god let it just be a phase!

Here’s to a better week next week!

R x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Wonder the Movie

WHEN GIVEN THE CHOICE BETWEEN BEING
RIGHT OR BEING KIND, CHOOSE KIND.” 
― R.J. PalacioWonder

Well, let me just say one thing, this is the first movie that I have actually cried from the start to the finish, and I completely forgot take any tissues with me (amateur move).  It is very hard for your heartstrings not to be pulled watching this, and more so for parents because you automatically put yourself in those parents shoes or you think about your own kids and all that they go through at school.

For me it really hit home because, my oldest has had the shittiest time at primary school, because whether we like it or not there are mean kids in every school, but on the flip side there are also true gems that can be found too, you just have to look really really hard for those.  It showed me how having really good friends makes all the difference to a child’s life especially at school because they spend so much time in school and to be able to have that person you know will always be there to pick you up when you are down, stand up for you and never leave you behind, when others are being mean to you, well that is true friendship. The emotions that August went through at school made me think about the struggles my daughter has had and all the tears that we have to wipe away to this day.

“It’s not enough to be friendly. You have to be a friend.” 
― R.J. PalacioWonder

I am grateful though for her having the amount of empathy, kindness and sensitivity that she has because that gives her the courage to always stand up for the those been mistreated, and if I am being really honest I wish there were kids that did the same for her.  She has a few good friends now but I hope one day she truly finds her best friend who I know will be there for her always, because I tell you what you would want her by your side as a friend.

“Don’t try to fit in, because you were born to stand out” – R.J Palacio, Wonder

As a Mum going into school I look around and see other kids with their friends who have known each other for a few years and I can clearly see the close bond that they have, and every time my heartbreaks a little because I so wish that she had that too.

Friendships at school seems to be a number game, what’s the saying two’s a company three’s a crowd. Well she has always been the number 3 in any friend circle so she is always on the outs unfortunately. Anyway that’s another blog post!!!

Leaving the cinema tonight she said to me, “Mum if there was a child like that in our school I will play with them everyday.”

As parents you would want your child to take care of the Auggie Pullman’s of this world.

“Courage. Kindness. Friendship. Character. These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness.” 
― R.J. PalacioWonder

I would seriously watch this movie again and again, and I will probably cry every time.  I urge everyone to watch it and if you have kids definitely take them to see it to too.  However my 6yr old was getting pretty restless towards the end (so I wouldn’t take a child younger than 6) but she did say she loved the movie!

Right time for bed now!  Hope you enjoy the movie too, and I would love to hear what you though of it.

Ronell x

I’m No Mathematician

Since when did math’s homework in primary school become so hard!!!  It’s my daughters last year in primary school which is called Year 6 here in New Zealand.

At the start of this year I have bought both girls a Math’s workbook each for us to do together during the year.  Just one page a day, to help them keep on top of maths so that they don’t fall behind.  I know maths is a subject that many kids dislike therefore, I want them to have the knowledge and confidence in it so from the get go it’s not a subject they end up hating.

But I tell you what, some of the things they learn at school now at primary school level, I’m sure we never learnt that, it just seems so much more complicated.  My daughter works on a online maths program where the kids get given tasks that they have to complete, and from time to time, she will ask us for a bit of help, this is when I run to my room very quickly and google the answer and then come back and explain it all, off course not giving away my source.

What happened to the good old fashion way that we used to do it (as per the photo example) ?

img_0177

Now day’s holy shit they break the number up into so many parts and make it this long ended way of calculating it, confusing the hell out of everyone, no wonder the kids feel helpless, because I sure as hell do!

So if my kids ever end up getting a maths tutor I too will be taking lessons!!!

Ronell x

 

Are our kids too busy?

Okay so the school holidays are almost over here in New Zealand, and you know what starts with school being back, all the bloody running around that we do after school taking our kids to their activities!  I swear 3pm hits, and it is like mum’s taxi service starts up.  I feel like we parents are running around like headless chooks sometimes.

So here are my girls schedule and their activities:

Daughter 1 (10yrs old)

  • Netball training 8am on a Tuesday morning (during term 2 & 3)
  • Guitar practice Wednesday after school
  • Netball games Wednesday afternoon (during term 2 & 3)
  • Thursday Jazz lessons after school (plus extra lessons around exam times and end of year show)

Daughter 2 (5yrs old)

  • Swimming lessons Monday after school
  • Jazz lessons Tuesday afternoon

Most of the time we only get home at dinner time, so then it’s the witching hour everyone is hungry and tired.  So from Monday to Thursday we have an activity everyday and one child usually tags along if they don’t have anything on, and they whine because they have to sit through the others lesson!

Netball, even though it is during winter (which I think is crazy) rain or shine they keep playing their games and they hardly ever cancel!  Some games are at like 6:30pm at night!

img_6233

That is my daughter Kiara and her team playing in the pouring rain whilst we parents stand under umbrellas freezing our arses off!  I mean these girls are troopers though playing in these conditions.

I often ask my husband, “why are we doing this, putting them in all these activities?”  I always get the same reply back, “because it’s good for them”.  I know that we are all lucky that we are in positions to be able to give our children these opportunities to learn how to play a musical instrument, dance, play sport etc but when is it too much?  I feel kids are just getting busier and busier and they must be exhausted, (because I know I sure as hell am) and should we allow them sometimes to just be kids!

Sometimes we get asked from the girls, “can we do this activity, because my friend is doing it too?” Ummm….no!!  You’re doing enough already and it all cost’s money, it aint for free.  I think sometimes it kinda gets competitive too, amongst the parents!  Some push their children so hard even though they know sometimes their kids probably don’t actually enjoy it, come on guys ease off a bit, they are only kids, once in their life.

I’m all for keeping kids active and doing things that they have a passion for, but at the same time I want them to just be kids.

Do you have a limit in your house with how many activities your kids can do?

So may the force be with us all as we go through the last term of school for this year!

Ronell x

 

Classroom Shenanigans

 

Holy smokes what an eye opener parent helping at school is!  I help each week in my 5 year old’s class during their reading time.

I always admired teachers, but now even more so!!!  My goodness how is it that teachers are still sane???  We all struggle from time to time with our kids at home be it 2 or 3 kids etc but HOW do the teachers do it in a class with 20 little people.  I would have well and truly lost my marbles by now.

I guess the boy girl ratio is a bit off with only 5 girls and the rest boys! I don’t think people really know what teachers do unless you sit in a class with them, they have to put up with all the screaming and shouting and throwing of things!  Even with the teacher sorting each issue as they arrive, do kids just not respect their teachers enough??  I know they are only 5 but when I was in school, when the teacher spoke you stop what you doing and listen.

Teachers to me are just priceless, the work they put in before and after school prepping for their days and then going through the whole day constantly putting out fires, teaching and getting the kids to listen is so much more than what we think. I now try to help the teacher with more than just parent helping in the classroom, even if it’s just cutting or sticking things at home that I can do for her.

To all the teachers that read this, I applaud you, you guys rock!