Social Media Detox

I have been meaning to do this post for a while now and I’m not sure what has held me back but I am doing it now.  The whole thing might sound like I am just having a big rant and maybe I am.  I signed up to Facebook many years ago whilst living in Australia, and for me it was a great way to stay connected to my family and friends back home in South Africa.  However, over the years how we use social media has completely changed and I’m at the point where I am kinda getting over it.  To me it seems like now you have to disconnect to actually connect with people.  Make real connections.

Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, you name it, it all just seems to have become a bit competitive.  At one stage I too was a social media addict and posted photos of everything and anything, like seriously who cares what I eat for dinner not many people to be honest.  I eat food just like everyone else.

People just seem so superficial now and that’s just my opinion, you can choose to agree or disagree that’s your choice.  When people post stuff now,  I don’t even know if it’s real, or is it just there so everyone else can think that their lives are just so amazing and awesome, compared to everyone else’s normal lives.  I think it has become a platform for people to show off a bit, look at my kids dressed in “Country Road” clothes or whatever designer wear, seriously I dress my kids in Warehouse, Kmart or Cotton on and even hand me downs, really whats the point dressing them up in expensive stuff when they grow so fast!

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If you look at your “friends” on Facebook, how many of them are truly your friends, and when was the last time you actually spoke to any of them?  I know there are some that I have not spoken to in years!  Every so often I go and do a clean out of who I actually share things with and now I am going to do an even bigger clean out, please don’t be offended if I remove you, it’s nothing personal, but if we haven’t engaged in a long time then it makes sense.

Here’s a great little video that you should watch!  Can We Auto-Correct Humanity?

I think there is definitely a place for Facebook, it can be very good for community pages, businesses, support groups, school groups.  Those are exceptionally useful.

Instagram holy moly, I mean there were days that I spent ages trying to bloody do a flat lay photo, or raid the house for black and white stuff so I could do a monochrome photo. It all has just become far to time consuming.  Again, these little tiles of square can sometimes get you feeling a bit down, because you look at other people’s feed’s and think wow look at the stuff they have or the places they go (admit it you feel that way too, it’s called being human), but then reality slaps you in the face, and reminds you once again, it’s all styled and edited.  We cannot go through life with everything being styled or in the perfect light, and don’t get me started about Instagram stories and Snapchat…for fucks sake, like seriously, how long do some of these people spend recording themselves talk???

Imagine, if people actually didn’t spend hours looking at themselves talk all day about what they are doing, and how they wish their hair was straighter or had more body, or about them getting their eyebrows feathered.  They will be astounded at the amount of spare time they have up their sleeves, try it people you might be surprised.

The worst one is when people are out walking/exercising and they are videoing themselves talking for such a long time and I think to myself, have they ever thought what they look like to onlookers, here they are walking holding a phone out in front of them talking!  It’s fucking hilarious and ridiculous.  I am so sick of seeing people constantly going on about all the packages that are arriving at their doorsteps, I got a few things given to me to promote by brands, but I am so glad I don’t get a shit load of stuff, because quite frankly I can’t be arsed. There are some people who spend all day running from one PR event to another, it’s just crazy to me, but hey they love it and so that’s their thing.

It sort of all came to me when I was at Adele’s concert and I was standing there in the rain and spending so much time taking videos of her singing, and I am watching her through my phone screen.  I thought to myself like seriously what the hell is wrong with me, I didn’t pay $150 to watch Adele through my phone screen.  I put my phone away and was completely present, and I sang and danced with my daughter for the rest of the time.

I have slowly stopped posting much on Instagram and yes I might have lost some followers but I am at the point now where I don’t really care, I don’t post much on my private Facebook account now either, because I want my life to be mine, and not for everyone else to have a look in on.

Instead now I spend more time reading, listening to music, and dancing it out with my girls!

Happy detoxing!

Ronell x

 

 

 

Stay at Home Mum’s apparently don’t raise successful children!

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Where do I start with this??  I am writing about this because it really pisses me off, and it’s something that has irritated me for a while. How it all started, well you see a year ago I read an article (I wish I didn’t) which stated that a study was conducted by the Harvard Business school, which found, “According to a working paper (pdf) published June 19 by the Harvard Business School, daughters of working mothers are more likely to be employed, hold supervisory positions, and earn more money than the daughters of women who don’t work outside the home. The researchers also found a statistically significant effect on the sons of working women, who are likely to spend more time caring for family members and doing household chores than are the sons of stay-at-home mothers.” quote as per the article.  Well I’m calling it BULLSHIT!!!!

I read the article (which you can find here), and at the time of reading it I swore a lot.  After a week or two I forgot about it, but what I have found over this past year is that whatever crap that I read in that article must have gotten ingrained in my brain because every now and again, it rears its ugly head just out of the blue and can be triggered by anything, whether, it’s about school stuff, or career and work stuff that I hear about on the news, this article pops up in my head.  I then have about 5 seconds where I feel guilty about being a stay at home mum and then I snap out of it and give the thought the big F you!

I had a successful career and loved working, I even studied whilst pregnant with both girls, but I chose to be a stay at home mum whilst my girls are still young so I can be around for them, and I will return to the working world one day.  I don’t sit on my arse and do nothing all day, being at stay at home mum is a full-time job! Between, making sure the house is cleaned, everyone has clean clothes to wear, there is a cooked meal for everyone, bills are paid, after school activities are scheduled in, parent help at school is done, and the list goes on.  We all read the articles, seen stuff on social media.  But whether you are a working mum, stay at home mum, single mum, or whatever mum, does it really influence how successful our children will be?  We all want the same thing for our children to be happy and follow a path in life that they get the most joy out of.

How do you measure successful?  Is it still like the old days where you are judged by how many letters you have after your name?  Or how much money you have in  your bank account?  I grew up with my mum being a stay at home mum and when we started high school, she started work and now living in New Zealand she has a very successful job.  My mum has taught us what hard work is, how to be smart with money and budget and being able to run a whole house, how to look at bills and work out what’s going on and the hidden costs of things. She has taught us how to make the best lemonade when life threw us lemons! It’s the same things I teach my girls now. I also make a note to let my girls know that, no mummy does not sit at home and watch TV all day I’m working too.

The freaking pressure from society these days is just ridiculous, there is guilt if you are a mum that works full-time (I salute you), there is guilt if you a mum that decides to stay at home, there are stay at home dad’s too (high-five dad’s),  there is probably guilt around that too!  But it is choices we all make and it’s the best for our families, and how successful our children are does not have anything to do whether we leave the house to go to work! It’s what we teach them and the values that they are brought up with.

So if anyone thinks that stay at home mum’s don’t raise successful children, then you are just plain stupid, and unfortunately,  you can’t fix stupid!

Peace out!

Ronell x