I Said Yes to Instagram

My tween who turns 12 in less than a month has been asking to have an Instagram account for a long time, and I mean long!  I always made her work for it, she had to demonstrate being responsible, do her bit at home to help out etc

I have had an Instagram account for a long time, and so she has been watching me use it and it sparked an interest.  I had many talks with her about using Instagram, and that she will only have a private account, this is a MUST! Which means not just anyone can follow her and it has to be approved, she needs to check with us.  If she doesn’t know the person then it’s a big fat NO!!!  We have access to her account at all times.   Many girls her age seem to only post selfies with duck face pouts, I mean come on! A selfie here and there fine but not hundred’s of them.  Anyway thus began our lessons about photos and the purpose of having an Instagram account.

We talked about not posting photos that show any of your bits (if you know what I mean).  In her bio, which anyone can view I didn’t want any info about which school she went to or her date of birth, pretty much no personal info.  When commenting on other post’s only positive comments. Also besides just following friends and families I wanted her to follow some other inspirational accounts, like I am Kid President, Humans of NY, a few of the National Geo accounts for inspiration with travel photos etc

The reason she wanted an Instagram account is because, she wants to take photos of food, places that we visit, hanging out with her friends, dancing, nature etc  So I thought that was cool.  I did say to her that the biggest fear for me was I didn’t want her to see what her friends had and what they did, and to then look at her life and be like, well my life sucks because it’s so boring!  Or if her friends didn’t “like” or “comment” on her photo not to take that to heart.  If she loves taking photos of things that interests her then don’t worry about anyone else.

At the end of the day she is a good kid and I trust her!

Ronell x

 

 

 

Just Be you

others.jpg

How do we teach our young kid’s, especially girls that you don’t have to be like everyone else? Be confident in your own skin, just be you!  Everyone is different and that’s okay, no two people are alike because that would be totally boring!

I’m sure even as adults we are still dealing with some demons of always comparing ourself to someone else, or comparing our lives to someone else’s.  Do children learn this from us or is it just a normal human thing that we do and have to get ourselves out of.  This thinking all started due to Pink Shirt day at school today.  I went to Savemart a couple of weeks ago to find some pink t-shirts for the girls.  I chose one for my oldest who was fine with it and stuff then this morning she decided to change her mind (as they do) and wear something else.  She chose a very light soft pink top with jeans, it’s still pink but not in your face pink.  She has accessorised with pink earrings and sunglasses, she even chose fluro pink bands for her braces!  So all cool no dramas.

Then she see’s photos of other kids dressed up in bright pink clothes and fully decked out, pants, tops, hair everything which was so cool.  But instead of looking at it like, “wow they look awesome”, it was more like, ” I am not walking to school, I look horrible, my top is not even bright enough”  You get the picture!  I reminded her that you do have the top that I bought, which you can still wear.  NO!!!  It’s not pink apparently and more purply pink.  I said to her there are lots of shades of pink not just one type.  Anyway she ended up walking to school crying because she didn’t like how she was dressed and how she looked.

All morning I felt like a terrible mother for not being able to choose the right shade of pink or getting lots of pink stuff for her to wear and that she walked to school crying.  When I have gone over the top in the past she didn’t like it so I kept it simple this year, well I was wrong!  How do you win? Can you actually ever win with kids? The lesson here is next time take them shopping and let them choose!

Kid’s seem to ignore all the wonderful attributes that they have all because they want to be like the next person, instead of just rocking who they are.  Right about now I wish I had a Phd in knowing how kids minds work or something.  I’m always conscious of how I speak and alway’s make sure I never compare myself to other people in front of the girls.  I mean let’s be honest every now and again, I do compare myself to someone else in my head off course but not like I want to look like that person or anything, more like if someone is going on holiday, I would think to myself, “Oh how I would love to be on holiday now too” that sort of thing.

don-t-compare-yourself-others-quotes-famous-gallery-copy-compete-with-or-their-path-is.png

 

When we start comparing ourselves to others we start to loose our own confidence in ourselves!  The thing is though,  it’s happening with kids from such a young age, how do we fix this?  Imagine how freeing it must feel to just be you, and not give a flying f*ck about anyone or anything else.  Just live and soak up everyday!  Maybe I should print out every type of quote that I can find on the web and wallpaper their walls with them all!  Like I am at a loss because I can tell my girls all the right things and read all the wonderful things there is out there about being yourself but until they start believing it themselves, am I wasting my time?  Am I a nagging mum?

If you have any tips or advice or anything…..throw them my way!

Ronell x